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Bava Metzia 59a

בבא מציעא נ״ט ע״א

Learn Bava Metzia 59a step by step: Aramaic beside English, every question, answer and proof colour-coded.

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Topic

How serious it is to shame or hurt people with words (אונאת דברים), especially one's wife, plus teachings on household peace and the opening of the oven of עכנאי.

Overview

This amud continues the theme of אונאת דברים, hurting people with words. It opens with two powerful teachings: it is better to sin with a possible אשת איש than to shame someone in public, learned from דוד's words, and better to be thrown into a fiery furnace, learned from תמר. Then come teachings about hurting people: who counts as 'your fellow,' and רב's warning to be careful not to hurt one's wife, since her tears come easily. רבי אלעזר teaches that the gates of tears are never locked. רב warns against following a wife's advice, and the גמרא limits this to certain kinds of matters. Next, רב חסדא, רבי אלעזר and רבי אבהו show that ה׳ hears the cry of someone hurt by אונאה and punishes it Himself. A series of 'always be careful' teachings follows: keep grain at home for peace and against poverty, and honor your wife, since blessing comes through her. The amud ends by quoting a משנה about an oven cut into rings, which opens the famous story of תנור של עכנאי on the next amud.

Opening lines

נוֹחַ לוֹ לְאָדָם

It is better for a person

שֶׁיָּבוֹא עַל סְפֵק אֵשֶׁת אִישׁ,

to have relations with a woman who may be married,

וְאַל יַלְבִּין פְּנֵי חֲבֵירוֹ בָּרַבִּים.

and not embarrass his friend in public.

מְנָא לַן?

From where do we know this?

The steps (23)

  1. StatementBetter a doubtful sin than public embarrassment
  2. QuestionAsking for the source
  3. Responseרבא's reading of דוד's words
  4. Proofדוד: the one who shames has no share in עולם הבא
  5. StatementBetter a fiery furnace than shaming someone
  6. QuestionAsking for the source again
  7. ResponseThe proof from תמר
  8. StatementDo not hurt a fellow in תורה and מצוות
  9. StatementBe careful not to hurt your wife
  10. StatementThe gates of prayer are locked, but the gates of tears are open
  11. StatementFollowing a wife's advice can lead to גיהנם
  12. ChallengeA popular saying tells you to ask your wife
  13. ResolutionFirst answer: worldly matters versus household matters
  14. ResolutionSecond version: matters of Heaven versus worldly matters
  15. StatementThe gates for hurtful words are never locked
  16. Statementה׳ punishes hurtful words Himself
  17. StatementThree sins that reach straight to ה׳
  18. StatementKeep grain in the house to keep peace
  19. StatementA folk saying backs up the grain teaching
  20. StatementIsrael was called poor only over grain
  21. StatementHonor your wife, because blessing comes through her
  22. Statementרבא tells the people of מחוזא to honor their wives
  23. StatementThe משנה about an oven cut into rings