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Kesubos 4b

כתובות ד׳ ע״ב

Ketubot 4b

Learn Kesubos 4b step by step: Aramaic beside English, every question, answer and proof colour-coded.

Open Kesubos 4b in Gemara Clarity

Topic

Separating a חתן and כלה during wedding-time אבילות compared with נדה, and the ban on first relations on Friday night and מוצאי שבת

Overview

The גמרא explains that the ברייתא's 'likewise' about a נדה applies only before the first relations, while a mourning חתן sleeps apart from his wife even after them. That seems to treat אבילות as a prohibition people take more lightly than נדה. But a wife in אבילות may pour her husband's cup, make his bed and wash him, which a נדה may not do. The first answer is that sleeping apart applies to the husband's אבילות, while serving him is allowed in the wife's אבילות. The גמרא defends this distinction against several challenges from the wording of two ברייתות ('father of the groom or mother of the bride', 'likewise', 'with him'). רב אשי gives a different answer: wedding-time אבילות is special. The רבנן already eased it by letting the seven wedding days come before the seven mourning days, so people might take it lightly and extra separation is needed. Finally the גמרא quotes the ברייתא's rule against first relations on Friday night or מוצאי שבת. It asks why מוצאי שבת is included, and רבי זירא's answer begins on the next amud.

Opening lines

הָכִי קָאָמַר:

This is what it is saying:

וְכֵן מִי שֶׁפֵּירְסָה אִשְׁתּוֹ נִדָּה

And likewise, one whose wife became a menstruating woman

וְלֹא בָּעַל —

and he had not yet had relations with her —

הוּא יָשֵׁן בֵּין הָאֲנָשִׁים,

he sleeps among the men,

The steps (18)

  1. ResolutionHow to read the ברייתא's 'and likewise' about a נדה
  2. QuestionDoes this mean אבילות is lighter than נדה?
  3. ChallengeThe rules of serving a husband suggest the opposite
  4. ResolutionHis mourning versus her mourning
  5. ChallengeThe ברייתא mentions both his parent and her parent
  6. ResolutionBoth parents are mentioned for the other mourning rules
  7. ChallengeA ברייתא treats his אבילות and hers alike
  8. ResolutionAdd sleeping apart to the husband's case
  9. ChallengeBut the ברייתא says 'likewise'
  10. Resolution'Likewise' is only about makeup
  11. ChallengeBut she keeps אבילות 'with him'
  12. Resolution'With him' means at home, in his presence
  13. Resolutionרב אשי: wedding-time mourning is easy to take lightly
  14. QuestionWhich leniency did the רבנן give?
  15. RejectionThat is not a leniency, since mourning has not started
  16. ResponseThe leniency is wedding week first, mourning after
  17. StatementQuoting the ברייתא: no first relations Friday night or Saturday night
  18. ChallengeFriday night makes sense, but why Saturday night?