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Kiddushin 13a

קידושין י״ג ע״א

Learn Kiddushin 13a step by step: Aramaic beside English, every question, answer and proof colour-coded.

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Topic

Silence and consent in קידושין (שדיך vs. לא שדיך), and teachings collected from רבי אסי

Overview

The גמרא finishes רבא's proof from a ברייתא: once the money is already in her hands, a woman's silence (שתיקה שלאחר מתן מעות) means nothing. Scholars in פום נהרא challenge this proof in the name of רב הונא בריה דרב יהושע. רב אחאי pushes back, and רבינא rules that only those who received רב הונא בריה דרב יהושע's teaching need to worry about a possible קידושין. Next comes the story of a belt-seller who silently took back her snatched belt. רב נחמן rules she is not מקודשת, because she can say 'I took what was mine.' רבא challenges him from a ברייתא about a grabbed סלע, and the גמרא proves רב נחמן's answer: silence counts as agreement only when the man had already arranged the match (שדיך). The amud then turns to teachings the חכמים collected after רבי אסי died. The first is that land, like a woman, cannot be acquired with less than a פרוטה, except through חליפין. The second is that people who handle גיטין and קידושין without knowing the laws are worse for the world than דור המבול, which the גמרא proves from פסוקים in הושע. The amud ends with a challenge about whether a single sin is enough for that punishment, and the discussion continues on the next amud.

Opening lines

כִּי אָמְרָה ״לָא״ נָמֵי הָווּ קִידּוּשִׁין?

When she said 'No,' would it also be a betrothal?

אַמַּאי, וְהָא קָאָמְרָה ״לָא״!

Why? After all, she said 'No'!

אֶלָּא לָאו: ״רָצְתָה״ – דְּאָמְרָה: ״אִין״,

Rather, is it not that 'she wanted' means she said 'Yes,'

לֹא רָצְתָה – דְּאִישְׁתִּיקָה מִשְׁתָּקה.

and 'she did not want' means she stayed silent.

The steps (28)

  1. ChallengeReading 'not wanting' as saying 'no' leads to a strange result
  2. ProofSo silence after the money is given means nothing
  3. Rejectionפום נהרא: the deposit case is different
  4. Challengeרב אחאי: most women do not know the law
  5. Questionרב אחא בר רב asks רבינא for the practical ruling
  6. Responseרבינא: only those who heard the view must worry
  7. StatementThe story of the belt-seller
  8. Statementרב נחמן: she was just taking back her own belt
  9. Challengeרבא challenges רב נחמן from the case of the grabbed coin
  10. ResolutionThe ברייתא is about a man who already arranged the match
  11. ProofBringing a ברייתא to prove the arranged versus not-arranged distinction
  12. QuestionWhat do 'she wanted' and 'she did not want' mean?
  13. RejectionIt cannot mean that 'did not want' is an outright no
  14. ConclusionSilence means she is not betrothed, because she took what was hers
  15. ProofWithout the distinction, the robbery ברייתא would be a problem
  16. ConclusionProof: one case had an arranged match, the other did not
  17. StatementThe חכמים gather to collect רבי אסי's teachings
  18. StatementLand, like a woman, needs at least a פרוטה's worth
  19. ChallengeA ברייתא says land CAN be acquired with less than a פרוטה
  20. ResolutionThe ברייתא is about acquiring through חליפין
  21. Statementשמואל: Whoever doesn't know the laws of divorce and קידושין should stay away
  22. StatementThey are worse for the world than דור המבול
  23. QuestionHow do we know the פסוק is about these people?
  24. Responseרב יוסף's translation shows the פסוק is about children born from other men's wives
  25. ProofEven the fish will die, which did not happen in the מבול
  26. ChallengeMaybe the punishment comes only if all the sins are done
  27. ResolutionFalse swearing alone makes the land mourn
  28. ChallengeMaybe false swearing is different from the other sins